I have a friend who teaches meditation. One day, she told me a story from a monk, called Ajahn Brahn, and it made me realise that I am a perfectionist.

Ajahn Brahn wrote a book, and one of the stories in this book is about when he, and the other monks, built a house. He noticed that two of the bricks weren’t perfect, and that’s all that he concentrated on.

I’m paraphrasing the story a little. Heres a link to the story (I hope it works! First time I’ve tried to copy a link into a post) https://www.awakin.org/v2/read/view.php?tid=1003

Basically, I am a perfectionist. I would hone in on those two bricks, too. I’d be tempted to knock the whole house down, and start again. And I’m ok admitting that.

Why? Because I’m ok with the fact I know that I’m a perfectionist. I know that’s a trigger for me, and that means I can learn ways to manage those feelings of not being good enough.

I’m not saying triggers are that easy to deal with, they’re not. I know there’s often lots of trauma and bad memories behind them. But sometimes, it can help to say; “I know this situation can make me feel this way, so I can cope by doing…..” and putting a plan in place.

I know triggers are complex. Working in mental health has shown me that, but if it’s a non trauma trigger, then maybe putting a plan in place to help reduce the impact the situation has on you, could be a positive thing to do.

Of course, everyone is different, and we all have our own stories and experiences, so it’s not a one size fits all. But, for me, just knowing I’m a perfectionist, and trying harder to be kinder to myself and focusing on what I did well/ what went well, is something I know I must do. I’m not going to lie, it’s hard, but I feel I’m just a bully to myself if I don’t at least try to be a little bit positive about myself.

Refering back to the story; I can see the two bricks. I wish I didn’t, and I wish I could do something about them, BUT I can also see the other 998 bricks, and feel proud that I’ve managed to achieve something.